As the title says, Alexa is no longer at Summer Snowflakes. 😉 I’m super proud of this cute little blog, and all the insightful, thoughtful, musical, dreaming, fangirling posts I made as a teenager. We laughed, we cried, and it moved me, Bob. 😉 But I’ve been wanting to try a bit of a different style, still the same me, but with a few extra things I wasn't sure about doing on here. Not gonna give any spoilers, because at this point, even I’m not fully certain what’s going on, lol. But I wanted a clean, fresh space to try new things in, so if you’re still here and still interested in seeing my future adventures, you can find me sharing what I know Thus Far.

Thanks for being here all this time and hanging out with me! You guys made my teen and college years ten times more awesome. 😊

I’ve just been really feeling this song lately.

Ain’t it beautiful! Especially the lines “Yesterday’s gone and / Tomorrow never comes still I’m / Living like they’re all that I’ve got.” Especially over the last year and a half, I keep returning to this yearning, this constant ache of wanting to go back to the past. Not just before Corona, but years before that. Before college, before adulthood, maybe all the way back to middle school. I have this idea that between the ages of 12 and 16, I lived the perfect life, or at least the perfect life for me. I had a lot of free time back then--though I didn't fully realize it--so after school, my days would be filled with reading, writing, drawing, whatever other artsy thing I was into at the time. Sprinkled in were a couple of social events a month: hanging out at the mall, going to see a movie, a bestie slumber party, or just plain youth group. In reality, I know that’s not even an accurate picture: my schedule was not that straightforward or stress-less most days and that part of my life came with 99 problems, lol, both self-inflicted and completely out of my control. Though there were many wonderful things I had then that I don’t have now, there are many wonderful things I have now that I didn’t have then. It really just depends on what parts I choose to focus on: the simple and the wonder-filled or the stinging pain and worry threaded through both then and now.

Seasons. Neither of them perfect, or even close to it. Just different, each with their own unique beauties, each with their own unique struggles.

To me, “Into the Infinite” is a song that speaks directly to that, to living here, in this season, breathing in this moment, whatever it has to offer. Tomorrow may not be the tomorrow I hoped for, and yesterday, for better or for worse, cannot be regained. Thus, all I can truly lay claim to is right now. And learning to live this moment to its best.

This is hard for me. I always used to know what came after, what I was going to do next. But lately, planning is hard and it’s just been one day at a time, with only more of the same at each crest of the horizon. As many others are, I’m kind of in a limbo stage, due partially to COVID but, for me at least, to many other things as well. You might say that, overall, it’s been an adjustment. ;)

But in other ways, it’s also been very sweet. When I manage to keep my eyes directly forward, my focus on what is here, each day grows long and meaningful. There is so much with which to fill each moment, and it doesn’t have to matter in the long run so long as it matters now. Minor things become marvelous: waking up to see snow coursing down in your slightly southern state; finding my favorite characters’ favorite ice cream at the grocery store and agreeing that it is the greatest dessert under the sun; going for a run in crisp, cold air and feeling the sweet sharpness of it coursing through the body, awakening every cell. These things, for a moment, become all that is, all that matters. Suddenly, right here, where I am, matters. Even if I’m not living in way back when or in whatever comes next.

For me that has been an important lesson to learn: right here. Right now. Still matters and still has something to give.

So it’s been 50 million years since I’ve posted a book review… but it’s also been 75 million since I read a book to review. So. I feel like my excuses here are pretty solid.

Description:

Here are three things to know about Maia:

1. Ever since her mother left, Maia’s struggled with depression—which once got so bad, she had to go to an institution for a while. She doesn’t want to go back.

2. Maia’s sure that if she finds her mother, if the two of them can talk about whale songs and constellations, then everything will be okay again.

3. She’s in love with Billy, the handsome, brooding boy who lives in the group home in town. He doesn’t seem to know that Maia exists…until now.

When Maia sets off on a road trip in search of her mom, Billy unexpectedly comes along. They drive up the East Coast, stopping along the way for lobster rolls and lighthouses. Maia learns that Billy has dark secrets of his own—and wants to outrun his past, too. But what will the future hold if they reach their destination?

I have to be honest, this isn’t the sort of book I would normally read. The road trip part is fine and the mental health rep sounded interesting… but a girl running away in her mom’s old car with a boy she barely knows? That screams the exact type of YA unintelligence that normally makes me roll my eyes, scoff an irritated laugh, and stroll away.

But I had a big project to do, I needed something to listen to, and something about the feeling of the cover and description drew me in despite my logical protests. Long story short, I got the audiobook from the library and finished the entire 8 and a half hours in less than a week. For the record, none of that was commute time and only a little over half of it was actually spent on the project.

So yeah, I kinda loved this book. I mean, the characters are silly, Maia’s attraction to Billy is—factually speaking—borderline obsessive, and sometimes they make decisions that made me roll my eyes, scoff an irritated laugh, and think about strolling away. But at the same time, there was just something very sweet, cute, and lovable about it all. The emotions were very powerful and authentic; and the ending just made me grin from ear to ear. 

So what else is a good reviewer going to do but analyze it?

First: Strong Characters

These two definitely fit the bill for favorite characters of mine! I really loved Maia! She’s inquisitive, very much a dreamer, and her affection for Billy was almost middle-school-ish in form; the reader’s giggly way of saying his name was just adorable. In ways I cant fully explain, I felt for her and I wanted to be there with her and for her on the trip; she was the sort of girl I would love to know and travel with and befriend. Also, I thought the treatment of mental illness was quite good: it is both a constant and prevalent issue throughout the story, yet it isn’t the whole story. It’s simply a part of who she is, an influence on and an extra consideration for all of her actions, but in and of itself, it doesn’t make up her. I thought the balance of that was done well.

On Billy’s side, he was kinda broody but also very boyish and clever, and his care for Maia was just so sweet; I loved that there was a running theme of them actively trying to take care of each other and do what was actually best for the other person. Their relationship wasn’t exclusively based on instalove or even long-nursed “romantic” feelings; they were both—Billy in particular—invested in the other person’s actual wellbeing, whether or not it had anything to do with a romantic relationship.

Second: Foreshadowing

Maia is, in a sense, an unreliable narrator: given both her depression and her closeness to the situation, there are a lot of events and people in her life that she struggles to understand accurately. Me being an older reader and farther from the situation, I could clearly see the tidbits of information that the author left out for the reader to find. It presented a mystery of a different sort: not a whodunnit or a what’s the real story? But a “when will Maia discover the real story and how will it launch her into her next choices”? I thought the sprinkling of small details throughout the book was really skillful: it didn’t tell me the whole story, but it did give me a strong inclination of how this road trip might end.

Third: Reader’s Voice

Technically, this only applies if you’re doing an audiobook, but it was still a major factor for me. The writing itself actually wasn’t my favorite, but the reader’s voice was so calming and sweet, plus she really accessed that innocent-teenage-girl headspace and believably embodied the person Maia seemed be. Bonus points for changing voices whenever new characters came on the scene! Her tone switches were so clear, I didn’t even need most of the ‘said’ tags to know who was speaking!

In a print novel, this could translate to the writing itself: if the writing is engaging and the voice of the main character is strong (not necessarily sassy or dark, or any other popular descriptor. Just unique and strong), then that can also become the defining factor that keeps a reader reading when they normally would not.

***

In conclusion… I don’t know that there’s anything specific you’re gonna get out of my analysis, lol. 😉 But I did find it super interesting how these three elements came together to make me adore a story I normally would have laughed at. Great characters, great plotting, and great writing just about always win out, I guess, even if the genre is a different sort.

What have you been reading lately? Any books out of your norm that you couldn’t help but fall in love with? Can’t wait to hear from you, and I will see you in the comment section!

Fear.

It’s this constant foreboding, this dread that wraps around your throat and digs into your soul and rejects even the notion of releasing you. There is always something to be afraid of. You tell yourself that you're safe in the Lord; you know that He will take care of you. You know God is with you, you know that He loves you, you know that He’s got you, and yet the fear is there too and it ROARS.

It roars.

Your throat is raw and burning with belting out every worship song; you've quoted every verse you know, over and over and over again: Do not fear; I am with you. Be strong and courageous; I go before you. Yet your heart still quakes with terror. You know that it’s going to turn out all right, and you know this because you know He is with you.

But fear cares about none of that.

Fear still haunts you. Dread still seizes you. Terror still whispers and shouts, hisses and cries out: you are not safe. You will never be safe. One day He will stop saving you, one day He's going to leave you and all that you fear will come crashing down and bury you. There goes your dreams. There goes your hopes. There goes your life, ruined, shambles, nothing. You will never achieve dreams. You will never reach your goals. You will never see your victory.

Fear. It shouts all these things all the time. You cover your ears and you scream to drown it out. But when the distraction finally ends, the fear remains.

But here is the thing about fear: fear is very loud. Fear is very constant. But fear is not very strong.

Fear has no power. Fear cannot force an outcome. Fear only features to waste your time. To keep you so cross-eyed over a could-be future that you cannot see the wonder in front of you or the way out of the danger that frightens you.

Do you know what you need to do next? Then do it. Move forward. Take that shaky step in the right direction and trust that the Lord will hold you even if the ground breaks under you. Believe.

Do you fear what is next? Face that truth that terrifies you. Recognize what you can and cannot do, what you can and cannot control, then do whatever is in your court. Offer the rest with shaky, weary hands, and trust that He can resolve it and redeem you.

Do you not know what your next step should be? Turn to Him. Ask for wisdom. James 1 promises that the way will be revealed if you believe. Trust that His timing is perfect and that when the time is right, your next right thing will be revealed to you.

Above all, above all, above all. Keep saying the verses. Keep praying the prayers. Keep singing the songs. Keep believing when it hurts. Keep coming back to your God and trusting that even when it looks like He’s not done a thing in your favor, EVERYTHING in the background is working out for your good and His glory. Choose to believe that His timing is saving you even when it aches.

Your reward is coming, weary soul. Even if it’s not till Heaven, your reward is coming. Grab onto that! Believe in that, my dear, darling, courageous heart! Believe! Believe! He is here and He loves you, always, He is taking care of you. Think back on every time He has rescued you! Yes, it’s scary that you can’t see the future. Yes, it’s scary that it’s not in your hands. Yes, it’s unfair and it’s not your fault and you couldn’t have known and you’re waiting on other humans as fallible as you.

Yes, yes, yes. All of that is valid. All of that is true. All of that you feel, and all of that He knows.

But do you know what else He knows, love? He knows your future. Every moment of it, every second, every breath He knows. He knows how He’s going to put it perfectly together. He knows how He’s going to save you. He knows. And He is working it all together for your good.

I know you can’t see what lies ahead. It’s a dark chasm into each next day, and there could be such light at the end! But there could also be such darkness, such difficulty, such pain, such fear. And when you’ve been through so much already, it seems downright unjust that something else could come upon you.

Why isn’t it easy yet, Lord? Why isn’t it easy yet, Lord?

Because you are still in this world yet. And because His plan has not been fulfilled yet. And because a million other reasons that I don’t know and I won’t pretend to know. But I do know that He has seen it all, that He is walking you through it all, and that when you don’t have the strength, He will give it. When you can’t see the way, He will help you feel ahead your next step. When you don’t know what to do, when you can’t possibly win, have peace, love, for that God, the God Who is King of Kings; Lord of Hosts; the God of Angel Armies; Jehovah Jireh, our Provider; Jehovah Nissi, our banner; Jehovah Rophe, our healer; Abba, God our Father; and Jehovah Shalom, our peace and wholeness. That God. He is making the way for you. You don’t know and that’s scary as hell. But who defeated hell? Who has already won?

Courage, dear heart. There's no need to be afraid.