I was 14 years old when I started writing seriously, finishing the first draft of my novel, then called Take Me As I Am, in all of ...

I was 14 years old when I started writing seriously, finishing the first draft of my novel, then called Take Me As I Am, in all of two weeks. I researched publishing, prettied up my little baby (weighing in at a robust 14,000 words), and figured I’d have my name in print within the year.

Didn’t happen.

I set the story aside for a while and worked on a few other projects, but I could never not return to that story. Take Me As I Am went through multiple revisions and expansions and reductions and more revisions. There were two name changes (Sketchy Moments, then Low Expectations), as I attempted to thoroughly, but not cheesily, capture the primary emotions of the story. I reworked the plot, rearranged the POVs, and painted and polished the growing word count, now almost thick enough to actually call my little story a novel.

I was around seventeen and I had a book that I truly believed could succeed. I queried like mad.

I got only one request and even that eventually fell through.

I took a break from querying and set the story aside for a while. Just before I turned eighteen, I pulled it out again, reviewing the first few chapters to submit to a contest I’d found online: YoungArts. I claimed to be entering for the scholarship—and I was—but I think, more than that, I was secretly searching for affirmation. What I hadn’t realized about all that time surrounded by nothing but rejections and no-replies was that I was losing faith in my story. I was beginning to think it was a first-book flop, that it would never be good enough for publication, that it wasn’t a story that mattered enough to continue to pursue. When I wrote to YoungArts, I think I was quietly desperate to know that my story was worthwhile.

When I won a Merit Award (sort of equivalent to third place as a YoungArts winner), I was actually disappointed. At first, I thought that meant that I still wasn’t good enough. Then I went to Miami, and for the first time, I actually read my story aloud to people. I was nervous as all get out, and I barely breathed during my first reading. But most of the people I directly interacted with were actually moved by it. When I did my official performance for the YoungArts exhibition, a lady came up to me after the performance, kissed me on the cheek, and said that I had moved her to tears. Others spoke similarly highly of my character and of my writing skill. Suddenly, publication seemed possible. Maybe there actually was a grain of worth, hidden somewhere in the story.

I set back to work. This time. This time I had it right. This time, I knew what I was doing. This time, I would finally see my boy, Elliot, in print.

I submitted to my dream publisher; the story was rejected because Elliot’s age didn’t fit their YA line. I went to a conference and met with my dream agent, who really seemed to understand the vision for my book. I sent her the first 50 pages; she enjoyed them… but didn’t see a place in the market for the story.

I was back to the drawing board.

This sounds like the part where I’m “discovered on the street”: an editor stumbles across my blog, falls madly in love with my story, and desperately wants to publish my book. This… has not happened. The biggest news I’ve got is that I finished my book proposal and submitted it to my new dream publisher in the hopes that they’ll take it on.

That kind of success isn’t what this post is about.

When I began to seriously consider publishing the story that’s now called Low Expectations, I wanted it to be a story that made a difference. One that would touch someone’s soul, allow me to witness for Christ, or just bring a little joy to someone who was down. Right around the time I started querying, I actually remember writing those feelings down: I would consider Elliot’s story a success if it touched just one person’s life.

Last summer, I made it a point to reach out to online writers’ groups every week as a way to grow my platform, answer younger writers’ questions, and get back into the online writer community. That was when the success began.

At least once every week, I was able to answer another writer’s question specifically because of my journey. I was able to encourage discouraged writers, because I too had spent years writing without seeing any obvious wins, but I was still striving towards my goal. I was able to bolster a writer who felt she had no right to write her story, because I too had gone through those feelings of inadequacy and had pushed my own inferiority aside, releasing the story I believed God had given me to His hands and His timing. I was able to share Elliot’s story on my blog and see even those snippets bring people some form of joy.

Over the years, I’ve imagined several versions of a success story for Low Expectations and not one of those lofty ideas has occurred. But when I look back, I begin to see God’s success story. I see that Low Expectations has already done everything I set out for it to do. As Elliot’s struggles became mine, I shared and solved them. As his disappointments pushed me further, I was able to reach back and urge others on. As his triumphs reminded me of God’s grace and goodness, I was reaffirmed in what I know I believe and reminded to both act on and share those beliefs.

On Monday, I posted the song “Want What You Want,” because I wanted to be a published teen author. But I’m twenty years old and still unpublished, with only a query, proposal, and a prayer to my name. Yet, as I look back on my writing years, I begin to see what God wanted. I begin to see His success story.

Does this mean I don’t want Low Expectations to be published? Absolutely not! There’s a lot more Elliot can do, and I believe that God will make the way for Low Expectations to do all those epic other things—but only in God’s perfect timing. For now, today, on this blog, this is where God has the story of Low Expectations, Elliot, and me.

And this story is already a success.

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Tell me about your writing goals and dreams! Have you been able to see success in what you hoped to do? Whether you believe it or not, I believe that God’s working on a plan for the incredible things He is calling you to, and it’s gonna be pretty awesome when it all turns out. I can’t wait to hear from you, and I will see you in the comment section!

I first heard this song last year at Winter Jam and I’ve returned to it many times since. In a way, it’s starting to become an anthem for m...

I first heard this song last year at Winter Jam and I’ve returned to it many times since. In a way, it’s starting to become an anthem for me.

I’m the sort of person who has a daily plan and wants desperately to stick to it. Who wants to know exactly what all of the next steps are, do them in a pretty, perfect order, and have a pretty, perfect result. I plan my days down to the minute--and they very rarely go the way I intend. But what I’ve been learning lately is that God’s plan is always best. I mean, sure, scheduling isn’t wrong at all, in fact it’s a great way to make sure you use your time productively. However, after I’ve made my productive schedule, I have to release those plans and that day to God and let Him direct it in the way that is best. Sometimes, that means things do go almost exactly the way I wanted them to. Sometimes, it means things go awry but the day turns out even better than I hoped. Sometimes, it means I have to sacrifice something I really wanted to do in order to make someone else’s day. But as they say in the song, “there is freedom in this surrender,” in knowing that I can trust Him, in knowing that He’s arranging my days precisely in His perfect order. And, in truth, my heart is being changed to want just what He wants. I’m not even close to releasing my daily schedule easily, haha, but I can certainly see where I’m more willing to let go and to be guided into His daily will.

We’ll talk some more about this in a bigger sense on Thursday, but for now, what songs are on your playlist? Anything God’s been leading you to lately? Do you schedule your days or are you already at just letting them go as they will? Can’t wait to hear from you, and I will see you in the comment section!

This weekend, instead of a Posts of the Week, I'm sharing something a little different: the wonderful C. Lee McKenzie, (author of my lov...

This weekend, instead of a Posts of the Week, I'm sharing something a little different: the wonderful C. Lee McKenzie, (author of my love, Double Negative) is here to talk about her latest project, Some Very Messy Medieval Magic.*

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Well, Alexa, here I am again in your beautiful space. Thanks for helping me get the word out about my next book. I so appreciate bloggers who support writers like me.
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AMAZON. B&N. KOBO. SMASHWORDS. YABC. 

So, based off of Monday’s video, a cover of “A Million Dreams” from The Greatest Showman , I decided to do a post on my own million (writin...

So, based off of Monday’s video, a cover of “A Million Dreams” from The Greatest Showman, I decided to do a post on my own million (writing) dreams: a list of things that I haven’t seen often, things I see a ton but can’t get enough of, and the things I hope to someday write about.

Original Photo from Pixabay

Good Christians, who are reasonable and kind, who actively follow Christ’s example and genuinely touch the hearts of people around them.

Portraits of a quieter, small-town life—that not everyone is dying to get away from.

Teenagers who have GOT HEADS ON THEIR SHOULDERS; their problems are mostly the unavoidable ones that come with growing up, not the easily avoidable ones they bring on themselves.

Teenagers who do make stupid mistakes, turn around immediately, and do everything in their power to make it right.

Personalities that SHINE above everything else.

Darkness that bursts with hope just when you least expect it.

ALL THE REDEMEPTION STORIES.

Acknowledgement of the damage of sin and the healing that only Jesus can bring.

Adorable teen couples who are smart and perfect and act like they’ve known each other for 50 million years. They genuinely strive to love each other, encourage each other, and drive each other forward; they realize love is an action and they aren’t just all about the feels.

Starry settings and sweeping landscapes that simply take your breath away.

Purity in love.

CHRISTIAN POP CULTURE REFERENCES

Charries with mental issues (anxiety, autism, OCD, etc.) still KICKING BUTT in fantasy stories (possibly literally but could be in other ways as well)!

A little less corruption, please.

Logic in love. And sass, but not rude sass. The cute, funny sass.

All the epic fantasies with righteous, noble rulers, who genuinely do their best with their kingdoms and are also very epic in battle. Talking Lord-of-the-Rings epic, here.

Stories that are “cheesy” because they don’t shy away from real darkness or from the unfathomable peace in the midst of sorrow that faith in Christ can bring.

I want to write stories that show the unity in diversity and prove that there can be diversity in our unity. Stories that say we shouldn’t lay down our core beliefs, but that we can also love and listen first. Stories that say those utopian, idyllic visions of life aren’t cheesy or worthless; they’re impossible, yes, because we’re still human, but why should that keep us from striving towards them?

I want to write characters who are “flat,” because they’re good; or “uninteresting” because they’re pure; or “lacking in complexity,” because they don’t have quite so many gray areas. I want to be able to show the truth for what it is; not that gray characters are a bad thing (I love my Lokis, you guys), but that characters aren’t automatically bad if they’re not gray. I’d like to write and read people who are actually really good or even actually really bad; I think that line is often a little too blurred. Some readers seem to think that genuine good characters are “unrealistic,” and that’s just not a great state of affairs.

I want to remind of the simple things, the beautiful things, the complex things, and the places where the light is. I want people to leave knowing that good will triumph in the end, no matter how dark or difficult it gets, and that there is always a reason for the things that we go through, because in Christ, there is always hope.

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I’m not sure that was exactly a million, but here’s a portion, I suppose, of all my writing dreams. 😊 Hope you enjoyed!

What do you want to write about or dream to see a little more of? Have you found a favorite book that encompasses all of your favorite things? TELL ME YOUR SECRETS. Haha, I can’t wait to hear from you, and I will see you in the comment section.

And y’all probably thought I was done talking about The Greatest Showman. This song is one of my favorites in the original musical, a...

And y’all probably thought I was done talking about The Greatest Showman.

This song is one of my favorites in the original musical, and I absolutely adore their rendition! Just the beauty and color and joy and pure talent, man, the talent in this video. They just take the original song and shape it into something that steal your heart and makes you soar away, like your dreams of the world are really getting ready to come true. Can’t help but love it.

Have you seen any sweeping music videos lately that just took your breath away? Are you over The Greatest Showman yet? Lol. Can’t wait to hear from you, and I’ll see you in the comment section!

I AM FINISHED WITH SCHOOL FOR THE SEMESTER! CELEBRATE WITH ME! Finals are finally finished, so I can spend the next two weeks (until the su...

I AM FINISHED WITH SCHOOL FOR THE SEMESTER! CELEBRATE WITH ME! Finals are finally finished, so I can spend the next two weeks (until the summer semester) reading, writing, and blogging. Also, working. Probably mostly working. But that’s at a library, so it is okay. :)

On to the posts!

My Blogging Strategy by Keturah. In which she shares her secrets for world domination! Oh wait, sorry, no, this is how she keeps her blog on a schedule. My bad. Anyways, she does share some great tips in this post, so if you’re struggling with keeping your blog on task (like moi), you should check it out. :)

Five Books I Related To by Shanti. I love her descriptions of these books! They’re so simple and genuine, like they came straight from her heart.

Discussion: Do I Rate Books Based on Genre? by Shar. A really interesting posts about reading preferences and biases. Give it a read, and then chat with her (and me!) about your favorite genres and the different ways you rate books. :)

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Well, that’s all for this week! Do you have a blogging strategy that keeps you on schedule? (please tell me your secrets). What are some books you relate to or your favorite genre? Can’t wait to hear from you, and I will see you in the comment section!